Common Courtesy

1. Are you in the car? Are you driving? Are you the only one on the road? I know many of you fools believe that you are, that your mommies told you you're very special, but you are not the only person on the road. Are you on the cell phone? Well, hang up, dammit. There's other people trying to drive too!

2. Are you at the grocery store? Are you the person being served at the deli? You know, where someone has to ask you about what you're interested in? If so, HANG UP THE PHONE! You're being rude. The people behind the counter cannot help you and you're holding up the line, jerk!

3. Are you at the grocery store? Are you at the self serve express check out? Are you still on the goddamned phone? HANG UP! First off all, it's an express check out line. Second, it's self server. Nothing about talking on the phone while trying to ring up your own products is FAST, which is the point of the express check out. HANG UP THE PHONE, because, YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE LINE. If you want to talk on the phone, go stand in one of the regular lines, you jerk!

SQL> Select CellPlans Where GroceryStoreService = False;

117 > 1138

Yup.

What A Backstabbing Cockbite(tm RvB)

I hate you, George Lucas.

I hate your marketing divions, George Lucas.

I hate your lies, George Lucas.

I hate the way you've released The Trilogy on DVD, George Lucas.

I hate what you did to Han Solo, George Lucas.

I hate 'Jedi Rocks', George Lucas.

I hate the freakin' prequels, George Lucas.

I hate Jar Jar Binks, George Lucas.

I hate the fall of the Jedi, George Lucas.

But more than anything I hate your backstabbing, cockbite ass, George Lucas.


I've got it better than many, including the greatest of Lucas's insulters (Scott Kurtz, may your opinions on The Dark One light our way forever!). I refrained from buying those filthy DVDs, a couple years ago, because of the content. I'm still not keen on purchasing DVDs that contain this... filth. This filthy vile, affront to The Trilogy.

But. I'll have the OE's.

But they're a bonus feature. HOW ON FREAKING EARTH IS THE ORIGINAL VERSION OF A FILM A "bonus feature"?! The original version IS THE FEATURE!

ARGH

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

Stimpy Stylee, complete with stupid tear filled goo goo eyes face: [joy]

My Halo 2: Volume 2 CD arrived, yesterday, with only a pittance of thanks to the Unreliable Parcel Service. These people have a better scam going than insurance companies. They never bothered to update the tracking info online, schmucks.

Regardless, CD in hand, I jaunted to my PC and immediately ripped it and downloaded it to my trusty iPod (the database/reporting freak in me wants to run some ratios on the volume of Halo related music [26+17+12+3+57, including an incomplete supplement from Marty O'Donnell and numerous fan tracks I've not yet cleaned up] to overall volume on iPod) and set the iPod aside to charge. I then fired up the CD in my stereo, full blast (screw the tool who lives behind me, with no taste in music or video games, BTW).

Listening to music in the main living area inspires me to clean. And clean I did. For at least two full cycles of the CD. I dusted off every single thing in and around my entertainment center, reorganized my DVDs (not a monumental task, given the DB freak level in me... I've a DB set up to resort and organize them for me a number of ways).

---

The Volume 1 CD was great:
I love Peril. 99% of the time I start that CD up, I start with Peril. Something about the way it feels bears forth more of the game than I can really describe. Not to mention, it's different and the pizzacato play is absolutely counter to everything done in the hip hop tracks.

In Amber Clad really capitalizes on the inclusion of Steve Vai on the efforts for this score and works within its own context beautifully. There's something powerful and direct about that track, it just invokes Miranda Keyes's personality (yes, I'm that geek).

The Last Spartan is also an inspiring track. Has been since the day it was used for the E3 teaser as early as 2003, I believe, I'll have to do some fact checking on that. Again, we received a piece that perfectly invokes the Master Chief's personality.

Heavy Price Paid is a sad and lonely piece. Also one of my favorites, it invokes a funeral dirge. Unfortunately, I'm not sure for whom.

Earth City rapidly became my second favorite track on the Volume 1 CD. Again, used to great extent in pre-release material, it comprised nearly all of the game play demo shown at E3 in 2004. It's a wonderful track for an FPS game and does great things for moving gameplay and feeling the spirit of the story, overall.

---

Several of the other tracks are quite memorable as well, however, these represent those that I prefer the most. Unfortunately, a significant portion of Halo 2 has been missing from my collection. Specificaly, some of the sweeping stories and arcs that form portions of the Arbiter's story. I assume this was because the Volume 1 CD was released prior to the game and Bungie didn't want this surprise revealed. Halo's Devils, Monsters track would have definitely spoiled that story's surprise, had the soundtrack been released prior to the game. Listeners with a keen ear for leit motif would've presumed that the sound of Devils, Monsters wasn't allusion for the Covenant, rather, something different.

Enter the suites on Volume 2, that have been absent for 18 months. Only Bungie and/or Marty O'Donnell can specifically explain the delays. Though, as they say, timing is everything (*coughE3isaroundthecornercough*). Is this release designed to put Halo back at the forefront of our gaming queues?

Hint to Bungie: Wasn't necessary for some of us, even if we don't play on Live all the time. I spent no less than 6 hours, last week, playing Halo and Halo 2 campaigns (for the kiddies with no responsibilities, I work 40 hours per week, minimum).

Either way, only time will tell as we approach and get through E3 (friends of mine from NC Soft are going, I have to figure out how to talk them into hitting Bungie's pavillion to score me some intel).

---

But, I digrees. My intent was to discuss Halo 2: Volume 2.

Which, apparently, I'll do some other time. Right now I'm up to my Halo in insanity...

Things That Suck

1. Best Buy and all of its ilk. Where's my Halo 2: Volume 2 soundtrack CD, you lousy freaks?! Not. Going. To. Stock. It. I'll show you!

I don't know how I'll show you, yet. But I'll show you. Something.

2. Modern filmmakers. Have you losers (filmmakers) noticed that Best Buy and its ilk now stock television show DVD's BEFORE movies? Have you seen this Spielberg, you HG Wells robbing HACK!!!

The American public now thinks so little of the utter waste you foist on us each week, that we'd rather puchase copies of The A-Team before copies of (excuse me while I vomit in my trash can) War of the Worlds: Special Stupid Spielberg Schlock.

---

It's a travesty, I tell you. Special effects do not a story make. What happened to the creativity? Go away. Stay out of our movie theaters. Do something more constructive with your lives.

Volume 2!

For a little over a year, now, I've been dying to get my hands on the Halo 2 soundtrack's second volume. Details on its release have been few and far between, which is odd, considering how popular the first two compilations were. Regardless, the time has come, the date announced and finally the tracks!

You can find them via this convenient story on HBO.

I'm pleased to see that this volume has been arranged neatly into suites, applicable to the portion of the game in which they were heard. And gone are the less than desireable pseudo-rock-group tracks that were included in the first volume.

I grew to like the Breaking Benjamin track... but... man... the others never even got close to my iPod. Sorry Hoobastank and Nile Rogers, I just didn't care for them at all. The tone, feel and texture just don't fit into the same context as Marty O'Donnell's works.

SQL> Select CD From Amazon Where Title = "Halo 2 Soundtrack - Volume 2";

One Busy Weekend Down...

...a few more to go.

Much family commitment coming up this weekend, since Mom's coming back from Orlando. Then another casual wedding the following Friday, hobby work in Austin the day after. Then some business in Dallas, followed by a class in Delaware (yes, again). I think, once that's over, I'm done for a little while. Of course, I still need to look into visiting Orlando and setting things up for Comic-Con, this year. YAY VACATION!

Anyway, why does everyone want to do everything in March or April? Can't a brother get some May or June activities (not really, I'm kidding, now).

---

:rose: got married on Saturday evening. Boy was that a breeze. The 'speeches' were longer than the ceremony. Heck, I think it took longer for the bride's sister and I to sign the marriage certificate, than the JP spoke. Anyway, it was all good. Everyone had a blast (well, I think they did). I needed a whole day to recover, though.

---

I pulled something at the dojo Saturday morning. I'm not sure what. I experienced a bit of a snicker snack, whilst dodging a vorpal blade. It doesn't really hurt, unless I extend my knee through the tender spot. Kinda weird.

---

The new Dr. Who is worth watching, so far. I dig the guy playing the Doctor. He adds a slightly geek-evil nature to the role. Hopefully things won't turn sour.

---

SQL> Select * From Schedule Where DownTime > 12 hours;

Aikido

So, I've been a bit lax in my search for a new dojo (*coughthreeyearscough*), but have finally met with success. I joined Alamo City Aikido, last night. Yay me.

I've been trying to reconcile why I feel so comfortable there, given how poorly things ended in my last round of studies. So far, I keep coming up with the following:

1. Energy. There's a very positive energy at the dojo. Practice seems less of an obligation and more an event. This makes Lit happy.

2. Community. Everything at my last dojo was run by one person. Things are vastly different at ACA. The group is not for profit, its sensei is not the president and there are several additional instructors. Not to mention, I was welcomed and introduced to the group, last night. Which is at odds with how my previous instructor began new students.

3. Self Paced. Advancement seems less of a focus. In a word, advancement hasn't been explained to me. Whereas, previously, it was a nightly discussion.

Anyway, I'm hoping to get myself conditioned again with stretching and working out. It really felt great a few years ago. While I'm out of sorts, right now, I do feel better than I have all year. With more sessions available to me, per week, I should be getting into good shape before the end of the year.

SQL> Select * From Drafts Where Irish = True;

What the hell are we afraid of?

On the way home from Austin, yesterday, I stopped in at my mother's house. While there, I had lunch with my brother and his girlfriend. After we ate, my brother was goofing around, pretending to let one of the cats outside. His girlfriend flipped out and actually said, "Bird flu is on its way!"

What the hell are we afraid of, here? The reported number of deaths as a result of the recent avian flu 'pandemic', worldwide, is 80. Let me repeat that:

80
Eighty
8 * 10

That volume as a rate of the estimated, current global population, represents 0.0000012%. Not even a whole percent.

This is not an epidemic. More people have died from AIDS in the first quarter of 2006 than this silly media hyped frenzy. We survived bubonic plague, for crying out loud. Which, might I add, killed more than eighty people daily.

Birds have always been known carriers for disease and other infirmities. But, because some overwraught publisher, somewhere, seeks to make an easy buck off the gullible masses, 'avian flu' is now the greatest worry on the media-planet.

Anyone remember SARS? Neither do I. Shut up and go outside, dammit. If you're gonna die, you're gonna die. It's your time. Make peace with what you do, whenever you do it. Because there's one thing that's certain in life:

You can't beat mother nature.

SQL> Select * From GlobalPopulation Where ImNotDeadYet <> StupidHype;

"The old man's still quite an artist with the Thompson..."

Well, not me. But, I did get to shoot a Thompson on Saturday. I went to a tactical carbine match with some friends, you see. This, if you've never done it, is a great stress relief. One becomes so focused on safety and problem solving, that pretty much everything else that's happened recently dissolves.

The stages we ran were everything from plain simple (peek around board, shoot one target six times, reload, shoot second target six times) to rather complex (surrounded up close by unpleasantness or rescue an injured buddy).

By the time the match was over, I was rather tired and immensely hungry. A few of the folks who participated with us went home with quite a sunburn. I'm fortunate that my heritage is just very visible today.

We solved immense hunger by visiting an all you can eat BBQ restaurant. Fatigue was solved by watching DVD's all night and working on AEG's.

SQL> Select * From Ammo Where 45ACP = True;

Odds and Ends

I'm contending with a very slow Oracle server today. I don't get it. What's the point of database servers if they're going to travel at the speed of snail? Bloody thing couldn't make the convenience store run in less than twenty four hours. Nevermind the Kessel run.

I still have a lot of peanut butter, jelly and milk at home. This pleases me. Particularly since I'm very hungry right now and refuse to leave my desk until the Slowass Query Latently sitting around finishes.

I ordered something from Hong Kong last week, that turned out to be manufactured by a company in my hometown. How much does that suck?

I just noticed that Good Earth tea company (whatever they're called) puts quotations on the tabs attached to each tea serving. Wish I'd noticed that sooner, it would've given me something interesting to ponder at an earlier time.

Gonna go visit a new dojo in town, tonight. Well, hopefully tonight (looking at slow ass query again). I hope it doesn't suck.

I don't know why my rent check hasn't cleared yet. Usually my complex presents those things about three seconds after we drop them off.

SQL> Select RandomMusings From tblThoughts Where ItCameUpBecauseIWasBored = True;

More Stabbiness

1. REPLY ALL : Take it the fuck away! Worst. Email. Feature. Ever. [/chanel comic book guy]

You fucking dolt! First off, you're a week late. Second, the entire distribution list doesn't need to share you astronomically uncultured and ludicrous thought on someone's promotion.

2. MS Excel Pivot Tables : I have always and will always hate these things. I would like to see them burninate in a furious conflagration worthy of the big bang.

SQL> Select * From Contempt Where Stabbiness = ReallyHighNumber;

)#(%*&)(*&#!@()*&^%#

1. To the wannabe database developers: +, -, /, *, #, @ and various other symbols on the keyboard are reserved words, goddammit. Stop using them in field names, variables and output headers!

2. To the wannabe database developers: The space character turns fieldnames and variables into an unmanageable mess of SQL syntax. Stop putting that shit in your field names! They teach this at your stinkin' DBA classes for crying out loud!

3. To the wannabe database developers: Stop putting shit in the coffee! I know it's you!

4. To the wannabe database developers: I know you like pretty fluffy names, after all, you're apparently more user than you are programmer. But, really, use the same damned names in your schema structures. Again, this is taught at your stinkin' DBA classes. Freakshow.

5. To the post office: It's a bar code. Scan it. Seriously. Little laser thing. Point it at the black stripes and wait for the beep. What the hell is so time consuming about that?!

6. To Apple: iPod. Thank you for keeping the peace. This is about the only thing not pissing me off today.

7. To everyone else: STOP POUNDING ON MY CUBICLE WALLS! I'M ALL STABBY TODAY!

SQL> Select * From Everyone Where PissingMeOff=True;

The Blahscars Were Last Night

As is typical of the mindless, wholly uninspired and entirely dull "artists" of Hollywood, Jon Stewart's humor last night, appears to have gone over like a lead balloon.

These people should be ashamed of themselves. Desperately, every year, they strive to make some sort of magnificent statement that criticizes those who don't share their 'beliefs' concerning the world around them. Yet, they are hardly willing to face such hard criticism of their own lifestyles. Oh and by no means can they clearly state their own reasons for believing the way they do. Simply reiterating someone else's point of view is "satisfactory", insofar as a celebrity is concerned.

I've grown weary of what passes for creativity and broad perspectives amongst the dullards who fill that auditorium every year.

I enjoy what Eric Lundergaard has to say about "Crash". Hollywood has yet to really recognize a compelling handling of any form of racism.

Frankly, among the candidates for worst-high-profile-motion-picture-released-in-2005, I suspect the top contenders really were "Capote" and "Brokeback Mountain". That something as transparent as "Crash" probably did merit a snub. A concoction as uninspired as "Good Night, and Good Luck" deserved a consolation prize. While the latest Spielberg-distorts-history-as-he-sees-fit-mega-drama deserves a place on my action-DVDs shelf.

I'm pleased that Philip Seymour Hoffman was recognized for Capote. From what I've seen of both films, he had to put a little more work into bringing a character to life, than did Heath Ledger. Granted, Heath Ledger's performance was admirable, given his personal denial of circumstances, need for caution and merited fear. Great work, but the range didn't really span the breadth of Philip Seymour Hoffman's. Ledger may have his day, though, some time in the future.

I was torn when it came to the best actress category. Reece Witherspoon seemed to put some effort into her role, but it looked kinda cheesy to me. Of course, so did Felicity Huffman. Whose character looked so over-the-top it seemed unnecessary for someone with talent to spend time reprising the role. Oh well.

SQL> Select MeanSpirited From tblHosts Where TheDeathOfOscar = True;

How did I live this long without...

...an iPod...

After waffling a bit in the Apple store, the other day, I nabbed a 30GB iPod. The video flavor. The Nano was cool and all, but too small and hard for me to use the way I'd like.

So, for two days I've been loading this thing with anything I can find. I'm actually cursing the networks for not making available more of my favorite shows for download. I'm travelling on business, this week, you see. Can't a brother get some Scrubs, CSI, NCIS and Earl?! Networks, do you hear me?! Do my geeky bidding! I geek command you!

Anyway, that being said, I'm already addicted to the new device and can't wait to find ways to push the limits of its features on a daily basis.

SQL> Select * From WakeupCalls Where EasternStandardTime = 'Too Freaking Early';

Dutch 508 Returns From Iraq; Cleans Boots to Get Through Customs

It's good to know my teammate is back from Iraq this week. I know his family and all of his friends (as weird as we may be) are glad that he's back home safely. Except for that whole last patrol thing.

If you don't mind a soldier's perspective on things, his blog is here. I'm not sure just how long he'll continue to update it. I think his intent was really to only keep up with it while he was in the dirt.

I'm not sure why they had to clean their boots in Maine. But, knowing what I know of Maine (and my experience there *is* limited), they are kind of. . . well . . . "odd".

SQL> Select Friends From Iraq Where Tour = 'Complete';

Yet Another Geektacular Weekend

In some sad news, my mother ruined the ending of Serenity for my brother. I'm not sure what she was thinking, but she told him something serious. And that sucks.

Now, the good news.

If you're not watching Battlestar Gallactica, well, you're probably not a geek. If you are watching BSG and missed it on Friday, for the sake of all that's great in the world, find another time, TiVo or iTunes. The series is getting pretty tense, I really like where it's going. Friday's ending had me on the edge of my seat, salivating for the conclusion of Pegasus's appearance. I don't want to ruin it for anyone :)

I finally managed to go see The Lion, The Witch And the Wardrobe, this weekend. I was fairly impressed and pleased that it wasn't watered down for today's "politically correct" masses. Tilda Swinton is one evil bwitch!

Things I liked:

1. The little girl who played Lucy was perfectly cast. I saw, or read, recently that she was not allowed to set eyes on any of the Narnia sets until they were rolling film. The director really wanted to capture her wonder and awe at what she was seeing. Good thinking, because it worked like a charm.

She stole every scene she was in and deserved it.

2. The CGI animation was perfect. Not too much and not everywhere (LUCAS!). What needed to be CGI, was CGI, what didn't need to be CGI wasn't. The animals, in particular, were most convincing.

3. The end battle. Yes, it was an "epic battle", but it wasn't the focal point of the conclusion, nor was it so over done and lengthy that we forgot all the other wonders presented to us throughout the film.

Things I didn't like:

1. The boy cast as Peter. What a simpering little drip. He wasn't at all what I have, for twenty-something years, envisioned Peter to be.

2. Aslan. I can't put my finger on it, but, I didn't like the CGI for the Lion. Something felt wrong. There was also that little bit of ever so important suspense surrounding his death that was utterly lacking. I mean, really, he's resurrected five minutes later, gives Lucy and Susan a quick explanation and it's off to the battle? bleh.

3. The Professor's beard. Way too cliche and totally out of period/character for the battle of Britain.


That's that.

SQL> Select * From Weekends Where Awesome = True;

My Orchestra Teachers Were Too Mean for This

With the exception of one Mrs. Hinze. She used to parade up and down the auditorium's aisles ordering us to "...imagine a massive, and I mean fat Russian queen and her entourage parading down the streets!" I'd like to think she would have allowed us to play the Truth and Reconciliation Suite, had it existed in 19uhhh nevermind that part.

That being said, I think it's pretty damned cool that there are some teachers/conductors out there, today, with minds sufficiently open to allow music from Halo to be played at their performances. Particularly considering the choice was suggested by a gasp student. Most of my instructors were miersable primadonnas who consistently failed to meet the standards of our local symphony and projected their frustration upon us.

So, here's to the students and to the teachers giving geeks more and more credibility by the day!



I originally found this information, today, on HBO:

High School Band RAWKS



SQL> Select LastName, FirstName From tbl_Teachers Where ClassValue <> 'Suck!';

Once More Into the Breech!

Of a new year, anyway.

Fortunately, I survived the stress I induced upon myself regarding my friend's wedding. Don't get me wrong, there were problems to solve. Quite a few, really. But, on the whole, everything went well and I'm glad they're happy with how the weekend went.

The ceremony and reception were something of a forced sacrifice for many of us. The bride really wanted a glamorous New Year's Eve Party (black tie affair). Thus, she chose to use the reception to get all of her friends in the same place at the same time to do so. This had annoyed me, immensely, leading up to the event. Particularly as more and more year-end parties began to surface. Not many people really want to spend New Year's eve in a tiny town, with extremely strict laws regarding the sale and transportation of spirits.

As I look back, though, I have no regrets. I made quite a few new friends, this weekend, all of them great. I also got to know several folks far better than opportunities had allowed me, in the past.

So, when I consider the inquiry "Do you regret how you spent your New Year's Eve?", posed frequently in the last few days, I'm quite comfortable saying "Nope, not in the least." To respond any other way would imply that I don't care for anyone I met, or their invitations to spend more time together, in the future.

So, I'm glad I got over myself for the weekend and shared this momentous occassion with my friends.

---

When it's all said and done, though, I feel some odd need to recall all the little things we resolved to keep the bride and groom in a peaceful state of mind:

1. Ring inspections: Satisfying the bride that the wedding bands made it to the venue and were ready for the ceremony.

2. Wardrobe Malfunctions: There were far more of these, than any other wedding I've ever attended. Of course, I've never attended or participated in a wedding with specialized apparel needs. Specifically, several members of the groom's party wore USAF Mess Dress and we did our best to match their uniforms.

Malfunctions included:
a. One missing tuxedo shirt (groom's). Resolved by the loan of a groomsman's mess dress shirt.
b. One pair of woefully mismatched shoes. Resolved by a visit to the local mall.
c. One unruly undergarment. I received this news third hand, so it's not 100% reliable. It was resolved using pins.
d. The resolution of 2.c. resulted in some blood on the most important garment. I thought the repair was stunning, as I never noticed any sort of stains on the garment.
e. One dearly departed zipper. Resovled by sewing a bridesmaid into her dress.

3. There were some oversights, on the hotel's part, insofar as preparing things for the event.

Most noteable was their attempt to use plastic champagne cups. Really, if you're going to offer ballrooms and other facilities for weddings, you shouldn't even attempt to use plastic anything.

Second was their choice to set the tables with wrinkled tablecloths. Another really silly thing to do. The wedding planner and I discussed this in the afternoon and prayed the bride would not notice it. As luck would have it, she didn't. Or she chose not to mention it. Upon returning from the salon, she inspected the room. During a phone call afterwards, she told me she'd looked in on everything and was "...very happy...", which was undoubtedly the first time anyone had heard such a thing from her all weekend. Really, my friend's wife isn't an unhappy or miserable person, she's just a rabid stickler for details and obsesses about all the small things. That she was finally able to relax and get on with her own preparations was great.


I'm really one happy geek, though. The entire affair was handled with astonishing aplomb and grace by friends and family. Dare I say it? That they're damned lucky to have friends as great as we are? Yes, I think I can get away with it once or twice in my life!

---

SQL> Select * From Weddings Where Date < Date();

It's like evil sweet-tarts or something

Negativ Steve sent this link over, today. Apparently, this little flash animation has been floating around for a while, but we're just now getting to it. Check out the video and come back :)

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, for some reason, reminds me of Ultraman is Airwolf. It's just this great geek-pop-something-or-other-that-doesn't-make-sense. This is a catchy tune with some fun animation. I enjoyed it so much, I've been digging around The Lemon Demon site tonight, looking for more of their songs. It looks like their CDs are jammed packed with atrocious geeky goodness. This pleases Lit. Time to make some post-Holiday purchases. I need some new tunes for the office, ya know?

Check their stuff out and if you like it, snag your own copy.

I need more music like this. If you're a crazy geek musician, speak up!