)#(%*&)(*&#!@()*&^%#

1. To the wannabe database developers: +, -, /, *, #, @ and various other symbols on the keyboard are reserved words, goddammit. Stop using them in field names, variables and output headers!

2. To the wannabe database developers: The space character turns fieldnames and variables into an unmanageable mess of SQL syntax. Stop putting that shit in your field names! They teach this at your stinkin' DBA classes for crying out loud!

3. To the wannabe database developers: Stop putting shit in the coffee! I know it's you!

4. To the wannabe database developers: I know you like pretty fluffy names, after all, you're apparently more user than you are programmer. But, really, use the same damned names in your schema structures. Again, this is taught at your stinkin' DBA classes. Freakshow.

5. To the post office: It's a bar code. Scan it. Seriously. Little laser thing. Point it at the black stripes and wait for the beep. What the hell is so time consuming about that?!

6. To Apple: iPod. Thank you for keeping the peace. This is about the only thing not pissing me off today.

7. To everyone else: STOP POUNDING ON MY CUBICLE WALLS! I'M ALL STABBY TODAY!

SQL> Select * From Everyone Where PissingMeOff=True;