Monsters from the id...

...software anyway.

I cranked up cooperative DOOM 3 for the first time tonight on XBox Live. Now here's a different experience. Not only was it kinda cool to have some help in the game - "I'll keep my flashlight on, you blow the hell out of anything it lights up." - but it was odd playing with someone who thinks DOOM is properly referred to as "Classic Doom" and doesn't understand that DOOM 2 was a sequel released shortly after the original game, utilizing the same engine. heh. I felt old. Anyway, the guy who joined my game (call him "Night", gamertag edited to protect the innocent) was a pretty cool kid. No trash talking, no bashing me for wanting to play coop and he was pretty patient with my old ass.

Shortly after I picked up the rocket launcher (dumb luck, that), we started to hear something that sounded vaguely familiar. An odd sort of moaning, grunting roar. As we listened to it, the following conversation took place (I'll paraphrase):

:Night: "Dude, do you hear that?"

:Lit: "Yeah. And it sounds familiar."

:Night: "What do you mean?"

:Lit: "Sounds like a Chet."

:Night: "A Chet? What's that?"

[we're slowly and I do mean slowly picking our way through a series of narrow corridors at this point]

:Lit: "I'm not really sure how to describe him and I can't recall the proper name. Most of the names I use for the foul creatures in DOOM are the nicknames I used for them in game play back in the day. Like calling the Pinky Demon a Pink Meanie. Anyway, Chet was this big thing with a pair of cannons or something that spat high speed trios of unpleasantness at you. They're big, bulky and ugly. Have you seen Weird Science?"

:Night: "Yeah."

:Lit: "Remember when Lisa turned Chet into that thing at the end when he swallowed the bug?"

:Night: "Yeah."

:Lit: "The creature that sounded like this in DOOM looked like Chet. Hence, the name."

[About this point, we come into a large corridor with pillars in it, which looks painfully familiar... it reminds me of the level Dead Simple in DOOM 2, more moaning]

:Night: "Whoa, what is that?!"

[He's getting pummeled by a Chet, as I round a corner]

:Lit: "Yeah. Chet." [rocket, rocket, rocket, rocket, rocket, lousy thing dies]

:Night: "What was that thing?"

[I can hear another one]

:Lit: "Definitely a Chet. I'll look up the name for you. I hate those things. They pretty much have to be beat down with a plasma rifle, rocket launcher or double barrelled shotgun." [I'm eating crow as I destroy the second one with my chaingun]

:Night: "Ugh."

:Lit: "Yeah, I never liked them, either."

As we left the courtyard full of Chets, he asked me what I thought the toughest demon in the game is. Without hesitation, I replied "Cyberdemon".

:Night: "What's a Cyberdemon?"

:Lit: "Pretty much the worst thing you can imagine. Big bastard. He fills up a room when he's in it. Got ugly horns, the face from hell... no pun intended... a rocket launcher on one arm and a robotic leg. He flings rockets like there's no tomorrow, basically killing you in a heartbeat. You'll know you're about to encounter one by the sound he makes pacing around." [I then proceeded to imitated the mechanical hum and thump of the monster's left leg, followed by the thump of his "natural" right leg.]

:Night: "Oh. Ok."


I was annoyed with myself, because I forgot Chet's proper name, so I looked it up... There's a monster roster on Planet DOOM. Chet is the Mancubus about halfway down.


When it's all said and done, I had a good time. I look forward to playing some more DOOM 3 coop soon. Now, if I can just find some shells for the shotgun...

SQL> Select * From tblAmmoCrate Where Type = 'Shotgun';