The Sandlot 2
What the HELL is this? This straight to video debacle, nay horror, is currently airing on ABC Family or some such nonsense (they should have their FAA license revoked). How do you make a sequel to the 1993 classic? Apparently, it's easier than I would have expected. I guess you dupe some dumbass producer and distributer in Hollywood with your "original" script. This piece of crap is simply a retelling of the original story. Only, it's set in 1972; the dog is referred to as "The Great Fear", and the story of his background is no where near as plausible or terrifying (the new fence is "plaid"); and the new "baseball" is a girl's father's mockup of the Space Shuttle. Only, it's 1972 and the freakin' external fuel tank appears orange in color. Which wasn't the case until the third shuttle mission when NASA discovered it was cheaper and lighter not to paint the tank's foam. This allowed the orange color, to which we're now accustomed, to remain visible.
The ultimate sin, though, is the fact that I can now hear James Earl Jones on the movie. Ugh. Joss Whedon is my master now. Joss Whedon is my master now. Joss Whedon is my master now.
HOLY CRAP! IT EVEN ENDS THE SAME WAY! "Over the years I stayed in touch with the gang and I learned that so and so did such and such and who'sy whatsits became a this and that."
GRRRRRRR... show some creativity, Hollywood!
One last bit of venom spewing. I hate "ain't it cool news". I always have. I always will. And no matter how much I like Firefly and look forward to Serenity, I absolutely will not endure that tub of lard, just to see the movie early, alongside cast members. bleh
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2 comments:
holleywood is a tough place
No, really, it isn't. How difficult is it to come up with an original thought now and then? Not to mention some original, creative and inspiring writing. You've done so on your 'blog'... It must be possible for at least one or two of the minds in "holleywood" to do the same.
Although, I've gotta say, being creative doesn't pay off when the populace is goddamned stupid enough to keep buying the same product over... and over... and over... and over... again. No matter how tiresome it has become.
"New! Improved!"
Really... to quote George Carlin... if it's "new", how can it be "improved" upon?!
Go to hell, marketing! I curse you with the firey ferocity of a thousand Texas fireant mounds! May the socks of your children's great grandchildren suffer their wrath for centuries to come!
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